Chejö Fans,

Dis is unbejevibij! SÖ menny yeas have gönn by widout enny öf jüh missing Softy!

DAT'S NÖT WITE!

SOFTY'S CÜJ and tü pwüve it, Softy will give jüh öj a nü jesson.

Jesson Twee:

Smök!



Hello Fans,

This is unbelievable! So many years have gone by without any of you missing me!

That's not right!

I'm cool and to prove it, I will give you  all a new lesson.

Lesson Three:

Smoke!

Wow!

Häs it been sö jöng, since Softy pösted his jast pöst?
Wej, Softy was jes sö beesy beeing cüj, dät he cömpjetly fögöt!

Häv jüh been cüj tü?


[Wow!
Hast it been so long, since I posted my last post?
Well, I was just so busy being cool, that I completly forgot!

Have you been cool too?]

Lesson 2

Chejö Fans!

It's taim föh a nüh jessen. An öda wee tü becam cüj is tü swea! Üs as menny swea wöds as jü can...

Dät's it fö nau...


[Hello Fans!

It's time for a new lesson. Another way to become cool ist so swear. Use as many swar words as you can...

That's if for now...]

Lesson 1

It's taim dät Softy geev jü sum aidia ön hau tü be cüj.

Sö hea's jessen wan: FJÖCK

Weneva jü eet ennyting, öjwees püt sum öf it intü jöa hea. Ennyting jü can find - jes smea it in. Öj peepej wij see: "EW - Hau discusting!" Bat dee dön't jiv in de föth dimension sö dee have nö aidia.


[It's time [that] I gave you some idea on how to be cool.

So here's lesson one: FLOCK

Whenever you eat anything, always put some of it into your hear. Anyting you can find - just smear it in. All people will say: "EW - how discusting!" But they don't live in the forth dimension so they have no idea.]

Cwesy peepej

Chejö fans!

Sum öf jü wij have nöticed dät dea ah sum vewi sick peepej in dis bjög. Dey jest dön't apwechiät fjöck.
Weaj fans wüd dai föa sum fjöck. Meeby Softy shüdd öcchen sum öff ön ebee...

[Hello fans!

Some of you will have noticed that there are some very sick people in this blog. They just don't appreciate flock.
Real fans would die for some flock. Maybe I should auction some off on ebay...]

Tänk jü!

Chejö evwiwann!

Tänk jü, tänk jü tü öj Softy's fans fö öj de süpöht!
Evwiwann javs Softy's bjög and evwiwann javs Softy!

Bat wememba - Softy's in de föth dimension änd önji cüj peepej cän weetch de föth dimension sö keep app de güdd w..., w..., well - jü nö what Softy meens.

(Hello everyone!
Thank you, thank you to all my fans for all the support!
Everyone loves my blog and everyone loves me!

But remember - I'm in the forth dimension and only cool people can reach the forth dimension so keep up the good w..., w..., [work], well - you know what I mean.)

Welcome to Softy's Blog!

Since Softy have sö menny fans, hü öj want tü nö whea Softy is and what Softy's düing, Softy decided tü staht ä bjög.
Sö hia it is!

(Since I [Softy] have so many fans, who all want to know where I am and what I'm doing, I've decided to start a blog. So here it is!)

And now the official version:
It was Indy's dearest wish...so this is for you, Indy!